Episode 1: The Story

 

Hi, this is Fitness Radio Episode 1, and you are listening to Priya Dogra. Today, I want to share my story with you. You will wonder why would you want to hear my story. I think you would want to hear my story because I was a fat person, a very fat person for almost two decades, and I am sure when you hear that you will sit up and want to hear why I want to share with you today.

So I was born into a normal middle-class family, we are four people in the family, and I have a younger brother. Everything was fine, I had no tormented childhood, nothing which triggered me into emotional eating. I was just a happy and fat child. Not exactly fat, but I was never lean types. So by class 7th or 8th, I realized that I am not a lean type and I could segregate myself in the group of girls a convent school.  I was in the girls’ school by the way; so you can understand how much you are observed closely by the other girls. So I was always in the girls who were like full, curvy, and girls who could lose weight. It didn’t bother me in school much because I was a studious child and I was busy studying and eating.  Because basically I am a foodie in the head, in the heart, and in the soul.  Nothing makes me happy more than food. Good food, bad food, dirty food, fried food, weird food and food food. But I don’t live to eat. I eat and live and I just enjoy my food.

So when I came to college it became pretty evident that you know there were other people who are in shape, and I was slightly out of shape. That was the era of baggy T-shirts, where you wear big ‘Jhola’ kind of clothes to hide anything wanted to hide.  and I am talking about 92, 93, and 94. So wearing those baggy clothes was very convenient.  You could just hide your fat under them. So hiding became like a very major mission, and it made me comfortable. So the college life passed like that.

After college, I started working, and that’s when the pressure really started. I was in the front office in a 5-star hotel, and when the appraisal came, I got the A+, but the looks part was becoming worrying for the HR.  That’s how it started affecting me and started realizing that I need to something about the weight. But everybody in my family are always been full, not been very lean so kept blaming my geans for that. To look good, I worked on my hairs, I started wearing lenses. Doing that was boosting my confidence to a certain degree. And I am sure a lot you will understand this because we all have gone through stages where we hate the specs because it hides our beautiful eyes and lovely skin. So when I got lenses, it was like what was I thinking all these years wearing these stupid specs. So the specs went and the hair had gone fixed, but the weight was not going.

Then I got married, I was still working and I had my first kid, and then the weight just didn’t stop going up, and the confidence started going down. I am an intelligent person so I knew my options at the back of my mind, I knew I have to something about it. But when you have a baby, nobody tells you how stressful it is going to be.  It is extremely, extremely stressful. You are suddenly expected to know everything overnight and not to offend anybody, the father still gets the benefits of doubt that he will learn at a time. Because you are the mother so you supposed to know; why he is crying, why he is not crying, why didn’t pee, why there is this rash, why is he hiccuping for so long, so it just goes on, and the is too much to handle.  And you get all these weird advices to eat that, eat this. However, some of them are true too. But while caring for baby, you can’t focus on yourself.

So the weight started going up. Also, the size of every garment started going up including jeans, shoes, undergarments, t-shirts and the list goes on. I was suddenly started buying from the men’s section because I was almost hitting like 70, 75 to 80 kgs. I am not very tall, I am 5’2 so it was looking even more prominent on me. My face looked horrible, I used to look like a fried ‘ Vada Pav ‘ probably. I remember for so many years, I nerve looked at myself in the mirror, below the neck.  I always used to somehow forget to look below the neck, I only used to look above the neck, and fix my hair and face. I was trying to ignore the problem which was staring at me. The baby was a C-section, and it was for the reason because I was overweight, and I just couldn’t try a normal delivery.  So that added to many other medical problems. The weight went up, the blood pressure went up and borderline diabetes I was expecting. So health-wise everything was going bad.  I couldn’t stand for more than 10-15 minutes, I was so tired all the time. This is how a year and a half passed. After that, I was still working and I was always working, and was handling so many balls at one time, but not focusing on my health.

After that I had my second baby, again had the C-section, and the doctor came to me and specifically told me ” Agar marne ka shauk hai to ek aur kar lena nahi to aage se mat aana”.  And then I was so horrified with the weight again, as it was a difficult pregnancy and all.  So that was the one thing that really scared me.  And by then my wardrobe was only full of Kurtas, scarves, stalls baggy sweaters, and baggy jackets. Suddenly I realized that Kurta is such a handy thing. You can hide anything behind it. Buy them in different colors, different textures, styles, ethenic, modern, or western. You can wear them and can hide everything possible in them.  I was not wearing anything else.

After the second baby, again the weight went up. I used to feed the baby, and people of the family used to joke around that ‘ The cow is feeding the baby’.  I used to look that horrible. I was someone who was not bothered about her health, who is not bothered about how she is feeling inside, and it was really disgusting. Now, I really look back and think that what was I thinking. At the end of the day, if you are unwell or sick, nobody can share that sorrow with you, you have to go through it yourself. So that’s how it all started.

My brother is a very health-conscious person, and he kept telling me that we have a history of diabetes and high blood pressure in the family. So if you don’t do something about it, it will really come to your doorstep next.  He had been warning me for a long time about this, and he is starting to give up now. And he is the kind of person who doesn’t give up quickly on somebody.

My mother was also getting worried because I started looking fatter than her. My children were kind of embarrassed.  I remember one incident my daughter was in a playgroup, and when I went to pick her up, the boys in the class joked that her mother is a baby elephant, and she is come to pick her up. So my daughter was very embarrassed.

So that’s what it is, and I know the feeling, I know you wake up every day, and you convince yourself that today, I am not going to have junk food and sugar. I am going to throw away those chocolates that I am in the back of my wardrobe. I will not go down to the streets where my favorite dessert shop is or I will not have chips whenever I am feeling low. I will not have biscuits as if the world is going to end tomorrow, and by the evening you give it all up.  I know the feeling.  So this is my story and I will tell you what I did next to feel good and to literally give myself a makeover, and to believe in myself.  And the reason why I am sharing this story with you because if I can do this, then anybody can. And I am the laziest person on this planet. So keep listening and I will tell you how you can give yourself a makeover.